captaintightpants12:

I’m just going to start this off by saying, if you liked or loved the movie, don’t even bother reading beyond this first sentence. I’m absolutely livid and I don’t know any way around it. I sat in line for hours on end to see this movie, even though I had low expectations, and I honestly don’t know how I could have hated it more than I did. Let’s get started.

Man of Steel

• directed by Zack Snyder
• written by David S Goyer
• starring Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, and Michael Shannon

The Good:

Amy Adams was a very strong Lois Lane. A bit rocky at times with the script, but she was fantastic in what she had to work with. She was a strong woman, not scared of the boys club that is the news industry or a band of soldiers. She was funny, she was brave, she was great.

The standout of the film for me was Diane Lane as Martha Kent. She was absolutely wonderful. So much heart, so much grace, she was every bit the wonder that Martha Kent needs to be. She was the heart of the movie and I loved her performance inside and out.

And the female theme continues! Faora, played by Antje Traue, was the highlight of the film for the villains and I could have been more thrilled by her performance. She was stellar as the main villain for me, because she was ten times more opposing than any of the other villains. She whipped Clark’s butt up and down Smallville, and delivered a chilling performance that I found to be spectacular. Simply put, the women were amazing.

The Bad:

I honestly could spend the rest of my night talking about what was bad about this movie. And let me get this out there first:

I’m not a era specific fanboy. I loved the Christopher Reeve Superman, I loved the Dean Cain Superman, I loved the Tom Welling Superman, and I even liked the Brandon Routh Superman. I have every movie, animated or live action, and I’ve literally got stacks of Superman comics by any number of writers and directions. Honestly, thousands of comics. I love the alternate universe stuff, and I love the main DCU continuity stuff. I love it all. Superman is my favorite character, and I’m not afraid to see him in different lights, whether it’s the Alien-first Grant Morrison days or the Clark Kent from Smallville-first Geoff Johns days. I’ve liked him on dark days and I’ve liked him when he’s a cheesy light-hearted clown.

That being said: I am absolutely offended by what I just saw.

This year marks the 75th anniversary of Superman. What a way to shit all over him. I honestly typed up everything that I hated about the movie, but it was like five pages long. That’s how angry I am. The plot was moronic beyond words. Every character, besides the three mentioned above, was completely out of character. Not just from the comics, but in spirit. I’m going to drop some spoilers now, so beware.

The first one that floored me, was Perry White telling Lois that he believes she saw Superman, but that he thought it was the write thing to just let it go. Perry FREAKIN’ White. The man that once said that an interview with Superman was like when God talked to Moses. Then you’ve got the Lois and Clark relationship. She figures out Superman is Clark Kent in one day! One day! She knows he is Clark. There is never any attempt to retain the most iconic relationship in the history of comics. Not even a little. I wanted to throw up, I was literally that upset. What the hell?

Then you’ve got this insane bio-engineer plotline that robs Zod of any use at all as a villain. They literally made him incapable of not defending Krypton, as in, he had no actual thoughts about anything. He was literally a mindless Terminator. What the hell was that? And he gets free because Krypton explodes. You hear that right. Krypton exploding, allows him to leave the Phantom Zone freely. And supposedly, Jor-El (and I assume the Science Council) knew this. There is also zero explanation of why they didn’t just go into the Phantom Zone or why they didn’t leave, because there is an entire twenty minutes dedicated to how they in fact left Krypton and terraformed new worlds, which is later used as the plot device for what weakens Superman, aka a shittier version of Kryptonite.

I really could go on and on, but I’ll leave you with the moment that I literally shouted in the theater during. This is a huge spoiler. HUGE. Hit the read more button, because I’m trying to spare you if you don’t want to know.

Read More

This review articulates what I can’t put into words because I’m so shocked and angered over what I saw. I get it, some of you enjoyed it. But I didn’t. I wanted to see a Superman who embodied the goodness we all aspire to. I didn’t want to see a murderer. So excuse me if I’m upset, because this Superman represented DC at its finest, killing my childhood the way this Superman killed Zod.

Dear friends who watched the latest Game of Thrones episode but didn’t read the books beforehand,

Now you know how I feel. Welcome to the misery that cloaked me for so long. *spreads arms out* Group hug!

Love,
Maia

PS: My doors are open for anyone seeking refuge. There will be pizza, ice cream and fluffy blankets.